


A Series of Unfathomable Feelings

by Redgillan



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, But mostly fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Love, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Roommates, at some point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-07-29 14:52:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7688761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redgillan/pseuds/Redgillan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Bucky decides to move in with his long-time girlfriend, Steve has to look for another roommate. But destiny, or rather Bucky, will set him with someone less boring than Steve intended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Koi No Yokan

**Author's Note:**

> Koi No Yokan (Japanese) is the feeling that arises when two people meet for the first time and know that they will inevitably fall in love. (source: thoughtcatalog.com)  
> This is a fluffy one! Flustered!Steve ♥

 

Steve was sitting at the kitchen table. Lacing his fingers together, he rested his chin down on the bridge. He sighed, eyes locked on the screen of his laptop as he tried to find the right words. He wrote a sentence that he erased a few seconds later and with another defeated sigh, he decided he needed a break. Feet planted on the floor, he pushed away from the table. The legs of his chair scrapped the wooden floor as he stood up and returned to the open-plan kitchen to fill his mug with coffee.

He took the coffee pot, his eyes cast down, carefully avoiding looking at Bucky’s half empty room at the other end of the flat. Bucky Barnes, his best friend since childhood, was now living with his college sweetheart, Dot. Steve took a quick sip of the steaming liquid before he sat in front of his laptop. It took him a while but he finally came up with something he liked.

> **_Room for rent._ **
> 
> _Looking for a responsible, mature graduate student or working professional to share a two bedroom and one bathroom apartment. Available by October 1 st, located near St John’s Recreation Center. Good number of groceries, restaurants, banks near the apartment within walking distance. 10 minutes’ walk to Ultica Av, B46, B15 and B65. The rent is $750 per month due at the first of every month. The apartment is furnished but the room available is not. Washer and dryer located downstairs._

Satisfied with his ad, Steve was about to post it online when Bucky and Dot entered the apartment, their loud voices started him. He greeted his friends with a warm smile before he left his laptop on the kitchen table to join them on the sofa. Bucky set the pizza down on the coffee table as Dot looked for the napkins.

“Found my replacement yet? You’re writing an ad, uh?” Bucky nodded towards the laptop before he crossed the room so he could read what was on the screen. “ _Responsible_ and _mature_? Jesus, you’re gonna have so much fun.” He scoffed, the guttural sound rumbled in his throat.

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” Steve shrugged. “I’ve lived with you for five years, I’ve done my time, now I want the peace and quiet I’m entitled to.”

“You make it sound like we were cell mates.” Bucky blinked slowly, chin pressed in the palm of his hand. “All I’m saying is that most guys would seek the opportunity to live with a hot babe, like...” He took some time to think and snapped his fingers. “Like a swimsuit model, she’d be walking around the apartment wearing nothing but bikinis all day.” He finished with a suggestive lift of his eyebrows.

“Poor Stevie would melt into a puddle.” Dot chuckled lightly, patting Steve’s bicep when he rolled his eyes. “No, he needs a sweet girl.”

“Here we go again.” Steve sighed forcefully. “I don’t want to live with a girl. I don’t wanna feel nervous in my own apartment.”

Steve closed his fingers around Bucky’s wrist, pulling on Bucky’s arm until he fell forward with a funny gasp. Steve sat in front of his computer and created a new ad on the website. He was nearly done when someone knocked on the door. He went to answer the door, thinking he had clicked on the send button but another window opened on the screen asking if he really wanted to send the ad.

Bucky noticed the warning on the screen and turned to look at Steve who was talking with his elderly neighbour Peggy Carter. Peggy was in her late seventies, and while she was still capable of taking care of herself, she needed a bit of help.

“I locked myself out.” She said with an apologetic smile before Steve took the spare key she gave him a couple of months ago and followed her to her apartment.

Bucky took it as his cue and quickly grabbed Steve’s laptop to modify the ad.

“What are you doing?” Dot frowned, raising herself up from the sofa, a slice of half eaten pizza in her hand. She leaned to see why he was typing so fast on the keyboard and scolded him with a slap on his shoulder. “You can’t do that!”

“Oh, but I just did.” Bucky grinned devilishly, still looking at the screen. “He doesn’t need another dude walking around the apartment, he _needs_ a girl. And I swear he’s gonna have one.”

“This is not going to end well.” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose before she turned around to make sure Steve wasn’t coming back. “Hurry up!”

“Done! Now he’s looking for a _nice and easy going graduate student or working professional._ ”

He watched with a satisfied smirk as the ad joined the many other ads on the website. Steve closed the door, Bucky and Dot looked at each other with round eyes before they threw themselves at full length on the sofa. Their sudden dive was so impressive it could have easily won a gold medal at the Olympics.

Chests heaving like they ran a marathon, they tried to catch their breath without looking too suspicious. Steve shut down his laptop without checking the screen and sat next to them. Bucky discreetly smirked at Dot who echoed his satisfied smirk.

The next few days, Steve had a couple of visits and Bucky insisted that he had to be there to choose his replacement. After the fourth visit, Steve wondered why only women visited his apartment and Bucky simply shrugged. Ten visits later and Steve started to suspect something.

“What did you do?” Steve half closed the door behind the woman who just visited his apartment and turned around, crossing his arms over his chest as he faced a smug Bucky.

“Nothing.” Bucky lied with that smile that screamed trouble and Steve felt a knot forming in his stomach.

He observed Bucky attentively, the dark-haired man gulped nervously before his eyes unconsciously darted to the laptop. Steve’s brows furrowed as he followed Bucky’s gaze and then it hit him.

“I swear if you did something to my ad.” He trailed off, leaving his threat hanging in the air as he opened his computer. He immediately saw the few words that Bucky changed. “ _A nice and easy going girl_! Bucky!” Steve shrieked, narrowing his eyes as Bucky raised his hands in mock surrender. “I told you, I _don’t want_ to share the loft with a woman.”

“Come on, man! Come out of your shell.”

“I like my shell, my shell is my own space!”

Your best friend, Pietro, nudged your side with his elbow when the voices that filled the corridor seemed to come from the flat you were about to visit. You looked at each other and made a worried grimace before you knocked on the door. The door wasn’t locked, it opened itself and revealed two absolutely stunning men arguing in the middle of the living room.

You rapped your knuckles on the wall that separated the front door and the living room. Bucky and Steve stopped arguing, they slowly turned towards the door before they straightened themselves and greeted you and Pietro with contrite smile **s**. You shook their hands and introduced yourself.

“I’m Y/n, I’m here for the room.”

“Great!” Bucky beamed. “I’m Bucky, this is Steve.” He turned his head to look at Steve but cast his head down with a low snort when he noticed that Steve’s face took three shades of red in less than ten seconds. “Steve why don’t you give Y/n a tour of the loft, um?”

“Y-Yeah, this way.” Steve stammered out, closing his mouth when he released he had been staring at you. Looking at you, Pietro playfully rolled his eyes before you both followed Steve around the apartment.

“Don’t forget to show her your room, Stevie.” Bucky tried to deadpan but Steve looked over his shoulder to stare daggers at him and Bucky couldn’t help but laugh.

The way Steve’s voice went from high to low each time he locked eyes with you was pretty comical. He was definitely nervous, his words came out too fast or in a sort of slur that forced Pietro to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

At some point, Steve locked eyes with you and it made him so jumpy that he bumped into a closet. Gasping loudly, you reached out to put a hand on his arm, making sure he didn’t hurt himself. You shared a look with Pietro who tried but miserably failed to stifle a laugh before he had to leave the room. You thrust your elbow into his side when he walked past you.

“Sorry, my _friend_ can be an ass sometimes.” You smiled sympathetically at Steve. He raised an eyebrow at the way you said the word friend. For some reason you wanted to make sure Steve didn’t believe that Pietro was your boyfriend.

“No worries.” He replied, holding your stare for the first time and you finally had the chance to really look at him.

Steve was a very handsome man, soft blond hair, perfect jawline and baby blue eyes that stared back at you before he turned around and cleared his throat to conceal his nervousness.

The visit continued without Pietro who was now chatting with Bucky in the kitchen. Steve seemed to be even more nervous now that it was just the two of you but loosen up after you asked him questions about the flat. He asked you what you did for a living and from there the conversation flowed easily. Living with Steve Rogers didn’t look that bad, he seemed like a genuinely thoughtful and reliable man.

At the end of the tour, you sat at the kitchen table with Bucky and Pietro to talk about financial matters.

“Okay, well, I- I will contact you again soon.” Steve shook your hand as he walked you to the door. “I have your number.” He waved your file with an awkward laugh.

“I’ll be waiting.” You smiled at him while shaking Bucky’s hand.

Bucky closed the door behind you and pivoted on his heels to face Steve who was collecting the files of all the women who visited his flat.

“You should take her.” Bucky scoffed, poking Steve’s bright red face. “Someone has a crush on his future roommate.” He sang, teasing Steve who slapped Bucky’s hand away from his face.

“Shut up, jerk.” He turned to gaze out the window.

Steve saw you leave his apartment building, Pietro was making a terrible imitation of Steve while laughing his ass off. You smacked him in the back of the head and rolled your eyes. It made Steve smile but he quickly shook his head. “I’m looking for a roommate, not a girlfriend.”

“You _need_ a girlfriend.” Bucky commented. Steve snorted, clearly disagreeing with his best friend. “You’re such a stubborn punk.” Bucky sighed, joining him near the window. “Look at you! You’re already hooked on her. I bet she’ll be moving in by the end of the week.” Bucky snickered.

“I won’t choose her, Buck! Actually I don’t think I’ll choose any of these girls.” He moved away from the window once you were out of his sight. “Peggy told me her nephew was looking for a place.”

“A dude?” Bucky quipped.

“Yes, Buck. A nephew is generally a man. So you know what I won’t do? I will _not_ ask Y/n to be my roommate and I will _not_ date her. End of story.”

“We’ll see.” Bucky replied with a cocked grin as Steve returned to the kitchen. “I feel like it’s just the beginning.”


	2. Mamihlapinatapei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve picks a roommate and Peggy still kicks ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mamihlapinatapei (Yaghan) is the look exchanged between two people who want to start a relationship but are too shy to do so. (source: thoughtcatalog.om)  
> Language and more flustered Steve.

 

Peggy’s nephew never showed up so Steve was going through the list of people who visited his apartment. He took your file with two hands and sighed. He had to admit that out of all the women he saw, you were the one he enjoyed the most. Gathering his strength, he picked up his phone and called you. After six months of living in a rat-hole, you were excited to find a proper place and once the paperwork was signed you took Bucky’s old room.

You spent the entire day moving stuff around your room with Pietro and his sister Wanda. Steve left your keys on the kitchen table and by the end of the day, you really felt at home. Pietro and Wanda were slumped on the sofa, resting while you paid the delivery man. Steve came back from work, he agreed to spend the evening with you and your friends so you would get to know each other.

Dinner didn’t last long, most of the pizza was gone within a few minutes and after an hour of laughing and chatting, your friends were returning home. Steve was as awkward with Wanda as he was with you but he seemed to relax a bit after a while. Once you closed the door behind your friends, you realised you were completely alone with Steve for the very first time.

 “So,” You rubbed your arms nervously. “I’m gonna go to bed, I had a long day.” You smiled at him.

“Goodnight.” He waved from the kitchen before you turned on the balls of your feet and closed your bedroom door behind you. “A wave?” Steve mumbled to himself. “Seriously Steven? Pull yourself together!”

“You said something?” You re-opened the door, brows furrowed in a confused expression when you heard him talk after you left.

“N-No, no! Sweet dreams.” His voice was high and loud.

“You too.” You chuckled before you closed the door.

Once he was sure that the door was closed, Steve’s smile faded. He rolled his eyes at his lack of confidence and hit his forehead with the palm of his head. _You’re such a meatball_ , _no wonder you’re not good with the ladies_ , he thought.

The next morning you woke up in your bed, in your new place and you absolutely loved it. The silence of the early morning only disturbed by Steve’s loud snoring, you decided to pace the flat to get to know your new home. In the kitchen you saw photos pinned to the fridge, most of them pictured Steve, Bucky and a girl with long red hair.

Once you finished your tour, you went to the bathroom. You knew that Steve was awake by now, he stretched vociferously in the room next door. You were in front of the mirror, adjusting your make up when someone knocked on the front door. You crossed the living room to answer the door.

“Oh my God!” Bucky chuckled when he saw you, his wide grin revealing his white teeth. You frowned and held the door frame as he tried to stifle a snort. “I’m sorry, it’s just... I was really hoping to see you.”

“They saw a lot of people and Bucky said you were the best.” Said the red-haired girl with a warm smile. She had an arm wrapped around Bucky’s waist and extended her other hand. “I’m Dolores, my friends call me Dot.”

“I saw your picture on the fridge. I’m Y/n.” You shook her hand with a friendly smile before you let them in.

Steve rubbed his eyes with a yawn as he left his bedroom, he was still wearing his night clothes: a large grey shirt and a pair of sweatpants. When he saw you it was like someone had turned the switch on in his brain, he remembered he was not living alone anymore and straightened his posture as if a General had ordered him to get back in formation. He tried to tame his wild hair but somehow made it worse, Bucky nudged Dot’s side before they both chuckled quietly.

“I guess you forgot we were supposed to go out for breakfast.” Bucky said with a grin when Steve groaned. “That’s alright, take your time pal, we’ll get to know your nice roommate.”

Steve went back to his room and got dressed at the speed of light, he was too scared of what Bucky might try to imply. He brushed his teeth before he came back to the living room, hopping on one foot as he fumbled with his shoes.

“Alright I’m good, let’s go.” He said as he tied his shoelaces tightly.

“Y/n is gonna come with us.” Bucky winked at his best friend as you turned around to look at Steve. Steve shot daggers at Bucky before he smiled at you.

“I don’t mean to intrude.” You quickly replied when you saw the look on Steve’s face.

“No, please!” Steve shouted before he cleared his throat and tried to keep his cool while Bucky and Dot were snickering softly. “You’re welcome to join us, but don’t feel oblige to come.”

“Well I’m starving so...” You shrugged and took your jacket.

“Great, amazool!” Sliding the door open he bowed before he cringed at his own gawkiness.

You chuckled, thanking him as you left your flat, Dot following you closely. Bucky stopped in front of Steve and narrowed his eyes.

“Dude! Amazool? What the fuck?” He jokingly slapped Steve’s bicep with the back of his hand. “And did you just bow?” Incredulity was stamped on his face but amusement tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“I know, I know. I was going to say _amazing_ but I panicked and said _cool_ instead.” Steve shook his head, nose wrinkled as his brain replayed the moment.

“As much as it amuses me, you’re gonna have to stop being a creep, man.” He slung his arm around Steve’s shoulders after Steve pocketed his keys. “But I’m proud of you, you finally did something useful. You picked the right girl.”

“I just picked the only girl I can never date. I don’t see how that’s a useful choice.” Steve sighed.

“Who said you can never date her?” Bucky frowned as they took the stairs to the lobby.

“She’s my roommate now, I can’t date my roommate.” Steve whispered as they approached you and Dot.

“That’s not a rule though.” Bucky shrugged.

“I think it’s the number-one rule, Buck.” Steve pursed his lips and frowned.

The restaurant wasn’t far from your apartment building and they had an all-you-can-eat breakfast. Dot led the three of you to a table at the back of the narrow restaurant. She went to the buffet with Bucky while you stayed at the table with Steve. Dot and Bucky were laughing heartily as they filled their plates with food.

“I hope you don’t mind that I tagged along. Your friend asked me to join but you don’t seem very happy.” You gave Steve a tight smile and his eyes opened wide.

“No it’s great!” Steve’s voice went from high to low before he cleared his throat and started to play with his fork. “For once I won’t feel like I’m the third wheel.” He turned to look at you and chuckled softly.

“So, you don’t have a girlfriend?” You asked and tried to ignore the somersault of joy inside you when he shook his head.

“You?” He asked, looking at you in the eye. “B-Boyfriend I mean, o-or girlfriend, I-I don’t know.”

“No boyfriend, no girlfriend.” The corner of your mouth lifted into a grin.

“Good.” He nodded pensively.

“Why is that a good thing?” You made a noise that was half a snort and half a laugh as your brows creased.

“I- No, I didn’t... That’s not-” He stammered faltering words while his whole face became as red as a tomato. He tried to play it off by leaning to rest his elbow on the table, but missed and nearly fell off the booth. You didn’t know why he acted so nervously but it was pretty funny. He looked adorable and it made your smile grow wider.

Bucky and Dot came back, allowing you and Steve go to the buffet. Steve watched you take a plate from the pile before he shared a look with Bucky and stood up to join you.

“You’re weird.” Bucky whispered as Steve walked past him.

“ _You’_ re weird.” Steve echoed.

It was pretty fun to hang out with Steve’s friends, and with them around Steve looked more relaxed. However as soon as it was just the two of you together, he was stammering again, his eyes looking around for a way out.

*

The apartment felt more like home with each passing day. One evening, Pietro and Wanda met Bucky and Dot and the four of them seemed to get along pretty well. Dot asked you numerous times if Pietro was your boyfriend and you always gave her the same answer _He’s just a friend._

A few weeks after you moved in, a sharp cry woke you up in the middle of the night. You jumped out of bed and barged into the living room as Steve left his own bedroom. You both ran out of the apartment and came face to face with Mrs Carter. The eighty year old woman had a baseball bat in her hands, she was threatening a man who was wearing a black balaclava. He managed to escape her and Steve immediately ran after him.

“Come on, Mrs Carter, let’s go back inside.” You gently put your hands on her arms to calm her down. She was shaking, glaring at the staircase with her baseball bat raised above her head and ready to hit the first person who would push the door.

She reluctantly followed you back into her flat. She was sitting on her sofa while you made her a cup of tea. You heard the siren of a police car and peeked through the window to see Steve hand the thief over to the police. You observed him with such adoration that it was clear you had fallen for your roommate. Peggy smirked to herself before she cleared her throat, pulling you out of your reverie. You sat next to Mrs Carter and gave her the cup of tea when Steve entered the apartment.

“Everything is settled, Peggy.” He smiled at her. “You won’t see him again.” He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Steve is a hero.” Peggy said as she put her hand over his. “You’re lucky to live with him.”

“Yeah, he’s really good at opening jars.” You teased Steve and she laughed lightly as he gave you a scowl. “I’m joking, I do feel safe when he’s around.” You admitted with a gentle smile and Steve turned his head to hide his flushed cheeks. “Are going to be okay, Mrs Carter?” You asked as she walked you both to the door.

“Don’t worry about me, sweetie.” She dismissed your worries with a wave of her hand. “I have my baseball bat to keep me company. And I told you already, call me Peggy, Mrs Carter makes me feel old.”

“Okay. Goodnight Peggy.” You left her flat while Steve kissed her cheek and followed you to your shared apartment. “She’s a tough one.” You chuckled as Steve closed the front door.

“Yeah but I’m not sure it’s safe for her to stay alone. I think she has a niece living nearby, I’ll call her tomorrow.”

You turned around and nodded before you realised that you were both in your pyjamas, hair untamed. Steve looked at his bare feet and pressed his lips together as you folded your arms across your chest.

“Right, I’m beat.” He finally broke the silence. “Night night.” He said as he walked past you and immediately winced, cursing himself mentally for being so awkward next to you.

“Goodnight.” You smiled to yourself before you turned around and entered your bedroom.


	3. Cwtch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve remembers his mother while Reader decides it’s time to confront her roommate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cwtch (Welsh) is a hug, provided by a loved one that feels like a safe place.  
> It's time to leave Flustered!Steve behind. This one will feature Sad!Steve :'(

 

You were sitting cross-legged on the sofa, nervously biting your thumbnail while you waited for Steve to come home. After living with him for nearly four months, you developed a massive crush on your roommate but you knew nothing could ever happen so you just dealt with it. What upset you, however, was his behaviour everytime you were in the same room.

Long story short, he was avoiding you. It couldn’t keep going this way so you were about to confront him. Whatever troubled him, it had to stop.

Finally the front door opened and Steve sighed tiredly as he kicked off his shoes and threw his jacket over the back of a chair. He went straight to the kitchen and put the bouquet of flower he had bought on his way home in a vase before he felt the buzz of his phone vibrating in his back pocket.

_Tried to call you three times today. You okay?_

Steve read Bucky’s text before he wrote a short reply.

_Fine. I had a long day._

_I can stop by your place if you need to talk._ Bucky’s answer came less than thirty seconds later.

_No need. Catch you later, kiss Dot for me._

Steve pocketed his phone and stared at the flowers he bought for his mother, they were her favourites and they smelled heavenly. Steve closed his eyes and took a lungful of their blissful aroma before the memories came rushing back behind his eyelids and he felt hot tears run down his cheek. You turned around on the sofa and smiled at him, unaware that he was dealing with his grief.

“Hey Steve.”

Your voice startled him, he gave you a small tired smile before he crossed the living room to lock himself in his bedroom, something he did a lot when you were in the living room. You took a deep breath and opened your mouth to talk. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“No thanks.” He smiled weakly, holding the frame as he attempted to close the door.

“I was about to order something to eat. Join me.” You tried again, raising yourself up on the sofa and taking a few steps towards his bedroom.

“Thanks, but I’m not hungry.”

“You know I’ve been living here for over three months and you avoid me like I have the plague or something.” You looked at him in the eye, he was still holding the frame of his bedroom door and quickly looked down at his feet. “Nevermind. Another time.” You shrugged, giving up.

You wanted to confront him but he didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk so you simply sat back while Steve closed the door. You silently sighed to yourself, pinching the bridge of your nose when his bedroom door re-opened and Steve crossed the room to sit next to you. He leaned to grab the flyers that were on the coffee table and skimmed through them.

“What do you wanna eat?” He asked casually.

“You don’t have to stay with me, Steve. I know you don’t like me a lot. It’s fine, we don’t have to be friends.” You kept your attention focused on the screen but noticed that he was looking at you.

“I want to be friends with you, Y/n. It’s just... I’ve never lived with a girl before. I guess I’m a bit nervous.” He chuckled and it made you smile.

“What are you afraid of?” You turned your head to look at him.

“I don’t know.” He smiled gently with a one shoulder shrug. You looked at each other for a moment before you took a flyer from his hands and looked at it quickly.

“Wanna order something from the Chinese restaurant down the street?”

“I’m not hungry. I’ve had a complicated day.” He ran his hands up and down his face with a frustrated sigh and combed his fingers through his short blond hair.

“I’ll tell you what.” You put a hand on his bicep. “Tell me about your day, get it off your chest. I’m sure it will make you in the mood for food.” You smiled widely and he returned the smile with a polite nod.

You ordered enough food to feed an army and waited for the delivery guy while Steve took a shower. The din of the intercom warned you that the delivery guy was in the lobby, you gave him the direction to your flat and looked for your purse. You spotted the money that Steve left on the Chinese flyer and smiled to yourself. You took half of it and paid for the other half.

The coffee table was covered with small boxes of Chinese food when Steve entered the living room. He seemed more relaxed after his shower, now he was dressed casually with the clothes he usually wore to bed. He smiled when you showed him all the food that was waiting for the both of you.

“You found the money?” He asked, sitting cross-legged in front of you on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table.

“Yes, thank you.” You returned half of it with a wink and he shook his head with a sheepish smile.

Steve told you about his day, how his boss yelled at him for no reason and you listened attentively. He never stuttered once, never blushed or avoided your eyes but he was still holding back. True, his boss was a pain in the ass but it wasn’t different from any other day. It was the day before the anniversary of his mother’s death and although it happened several years ago, it wasn’t less painful.

Steve wasn’t the kind of guy who talked about his problems, he dealt with them alone and wouldn’t even tell Bucky what was on his mind. That was how Steve was, and although his heart beat significantly faster when you were next to him, he didn’t want to talk about his mother. Not now.

“Your boss is a real jerk.” You gasped.

Your statement made Steve snort before he groaned, trying to use the chopsticks. “Tell me about it. Stark loves parties, every goddamn Saturday he throws a party and expects to see his employees. It’s like he needs to have us in the room while he drinks.”

“Oh, so that’s why you always look so sharp on Saturday nights.”

“Yeah, I’d rather be free but...” He shrugged and grumbled when the chopsticks slipped through his fingers and food ended up on the floor. “These things are useless.” He complained while you laughed.

“Here, let me help you.”

You took a small piece of paper that you folded in half before you pulled the elastic band that was holding your hair messily. Strands of hair slowly fell to frame your face, Steve gulped down before he realised he had been holding his breath and his chest heaved rapidly as he tried to control his breathing. And he did it, he kept his cool but then you took his hand and it felt as if his skin was on fire. You were too caught up in your little invention to notice that he looked as if someone had punched him in the stomach.

“That should do the trick.” You smiled after you had placed the piece of paper between the chopsticks and tied the elastic band around them.

Steve smiled back and tested your improvised invention. He easily caught the noodles and put them in his mouth, chewing enthusiastically as he gave you an impressed nod.

“Amazing.”

“You mean _amazool_ , right?” You cackled and he almost choked on his food.

“Come on, that was one time.” He coughed, a smile crept into the corners of his mouth.

You bonded over dinner, laughing and teasing each other. For a few hours Steve felt better, genuinely enjoying your company and thinking about something else than his mother. It was late when you stood up, empty boxes of Chinese food lingering on the coffee table. You yawned as you stretched your sore muscles and Steve chuckled softly.

“Go to bed, I’ll take care of this tomorrow.” He said, gesturing at the empty boxes.

“Sure?”

“Yeah, it’s my turn to clean the apartment anyway.” He shrugged.

“Thanks.” You placed a kiss on his cheek. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Y/n.” He smiled, watching you walk back to your bedroom.

“Hey Steve?” You turned around quickly and he raised an eyebrow with a slight tilt of his head, encouraging you to continue. “I had a great time tonight.” You gave him a wide smile.

“We should do this more often.” He nodded, returning the smile.

“Anytime.” You beamed before you closed the door.

When you came home the next day, everything was cleaned up. Steve was in the kitchen adjusting his jacket on his broad shoulders before he took the bouquet of flowers and sighed to himself.

“Going on a date?” You nodded towards the flowers.

“No, it’s- it’s for my mother.” He replied, eyes closed.

“That’s so sweet, send her my regards.”

“Will do.” He nodded, lips pressed together before he opened his mouth, hesitated and decided that he should just tell you. “Actually... s-she died when I was sixteen.” He chewed on his bottom lip, trying to hide the quivering of his chin. You stopped mid-step and stared at him, lips slightly parted.

“I... I’m so sorry, Steve.” You blinked slowly before you put a hand over your chest. You didn’t know what to say and he remained quiet in front of you.

You did the only thing that seemed logical and took a few steps forward, closing the distance that held you apart and wrapped your arms around his small waist. Your grip was tight around his waist as you rested your head against his muscled chest. He made sure not to crush the flowers and circled his arms around your shoulders, making you almost disappear behind his large frame. He had no idea how badly he needed a hug before you had wrapped your arms around him.

“Thank you.” He whispered, his chin resting on top of your head.

“Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m fine.” He shook his head, released you and walked towards the door before he turned to face you again. “But if you’re free tonight, we can order a pizza or something.”

“Free as a bird.” You smiled at him and he nodded before he walked out of the apartment.

A few minutes later, you left to join your friends at Wanda’s apartment. Her boyfriend, Loki, with whom she lived, was always in a terrible mood when Wanda forced him to hang out her friends. You sat at the table while he went outside for a smoke. Wanda asked you how things went with Steve.

“We talked for a while last night.” You replied with a smile. “We’re good, he was just nervous.”

“You still have a crush on him?” She grinned from ear to ear, licking a remaining drop of coffee from her lips.

“Yeah, the more I get to know him the bigger it gets.” You pouted sadly, lips slightly pursed.

“You know you can’t try anything, Y/n. He’s your roo-”

“He’s my roommate. I know. You sound like a broken record.” You groaned, she kept repeating that everytime you mentioned Steve.

“ _You_ sound like a broken record.” She made an exasperated sound in the back of her throat.

With a weary heart, you returned to your flat and bumped into Peggy Carter and her niece, Sharon. Sharon was staying with her aunt after Peggy neutralised a man who broke into her loft. Peggy kept saying that she didn’t need Sharon but she was secretly pleased to have company.

“Is Steve home?” Sharon asked after you greeted them.

“I don’t think so.” You replied with knitted brows. Her face fell and she tried to recover with a smile.

“Oh, well if you see him, tell him I said hi.” She waved goodbye before she entered the lift with her aunt.

You tried to use your key to open the door but it was already unlocked, you twisted the knob and closed the door behind you. You saw Bucky’s jacket and two mugs on the kitchen table but Steve was sitting alone.

“Is Bucky here?”

“Bathroom.” Steve played with the mug in his hands.

“So, I just saw Sharon in the corridor, I think she has a crush on you.” You went to the kitchen and filled a glass with water. An icy knot coiled in your stomach as you waited for his comment.

“How do you know that?” Steve asked, looking over his shoulder.

 _The look on her face was pretty obvious, I have the same fake smile plastered on my face when you go on double dates with Bucky and Dot,_ you said in your head.

“Just the way she talks about you.” You shrugged, avoiding his eyes.

“Who has a crush on Steve?” Bucky came back from the bathroom.

“Our neighbour.” You replied and Bucky’s eyes went wide.

“The eighty year old?”

“No, her niece.” Steve rolled his eyes. “But it’s just speculation, Sharon doesn’t have a crush on me. I’d notice.”

Bucky snorted a mischievous chuckle through his nostrils because if there was one thing Steve was unable to notice, it was when a girl had a crush on him. He took his mug to the kitchen.

“If Y/n says so, I’m sure she’s right.”

“Why?” Steve frowned, eyes focused on his empty mug.

“Takes one to know one.” Bucky whispered as he walked past you to put his cup in the basin. He smirked, his brows shot up suggestively when you snapped your head back up to look at him.

“What did you say?” Steve stood up, brows creased in a frown as he walked to the kitchen.

“Nothing!” You quickly replied before Bucky had the chance to open his mouth. You stared daggers at him and he chuckled to himself before he shrugged when Steve looked at the two of you, his face etched in confusion.


	4. Kilig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Steve go on a date... not with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kilig (Tagalog) is the feeling of inexplicable joy after seeing or experiencing something romantic.  
> Language, drinking, tiny bit of angst and mostly fluff.

 

One late afternoon, your fingers were shuffling away at your keyboard when Steve came back with enough groceries to feed the entire building. Your eyes opened wide when you saw him and the groceries bags.

“What?” He grinned with a tiny chuckle. “Our friends keep inviting themselves, we gotta feed them.” He started to unpack.

After a few months you decided to share the expense for food since you both ate the same things. It was easier than dividing the cupboards into shelves for you and shelves for him. You helped him unpack the bags when the front door opened. Bucky and Wanda were laughing at something that she showed him on her phone.

“See?” Steve nudged your side. “They don’t even bother to knock anymore.”

“Why would we knock?” Bucky leaned against the frame and crossed his arms. “You live like an old couple.” He chuckled when you rolled your eyes. “Come on, when’s the last time you went on a date, Stevie?”

“Last week, when you set me up with that girl.” Steve replied with a tired sigh.

“And you, Y/n?” Bucky smirked.

“I’m focusing on my work.” You intentionally bumped into his shoulder when you left the kitchen.

Bucky knew you had a crush on Steve and he was well aware that Steve had feelings for you but you were both too stubborn to see it. He loved to tease you and Steve and watch as you nervously tried to change the subject. He thought it was hilarious.

“Well, not tonight!” Wanda closed your laptop when you sat in front of the screen. “Tonight we will have fun! Pietro is working at this new club, owned by that Coulson guy.”

“SHIELD?” Bucky exclaimed before he swung his hand, knowing it would land on Steve’s chest. “Dude, it’s like the best club in town. We have to go!”

“We will!” Wanda raised her hand and high fived Bucky.

Reluctantly you followed Wanda to your room and started to get ready while the boys warned Dot and got dressed for the night. Wanda went straight to your wardrobe and picked a dress she thought was slutty enough for the club. She lay down on the covers while you got dressed.

“I need to unwind. My breakup was kinda harsh, I want to find a guy and... unwind with him, if you know what I mean.” She smirked looking at the ceiling.

“Yeah, I got it.” You chuckled and held out your arms, silently asking if the dress looked good on you. She raised two thumbs up. “You broke up with Loki months ago, Wands. You’re so much better without him.”

“I know, I don’t even care about him anymore. I guess I’m doing this for you.” She sat up on the bed. “Find someone, anyone” She urged you.

“I don’t need to go on dates. I’m having fun with Steve.”

“You’ve been living with him for almost a year. If he ever shoves his tongue down your throat then I’ll let you stay at home all you want but meanwhile... Go out and live a little!” She handed you a pair of high heels.

You left your room, your dark blue, sleeveless, form fitting dress was hugging every curves of your body. The bodice was cut in a U, exposing your neck and cleavage. The dress was accentuated at the waist, the skirt clinging to your hips, stopping a few inches under your ass. Yep, that dress would definitely make all eyes turn... starting with your roommate. Steve and Bucky were standing at the door. Steve was dressed casually, yet judging by the way the buttons of his shirt begged for release, you had no doubt that all the girls would swoon at his feet.

Steve looked up with his mouth hanging wide open. It took him by surprise and couldn’t hide the awestruck expression frozen on his face. He tried to look away and he silently prayed that someone would just broke the silence. Luckily for him, Bucky whistled when he saw you and Wanda dressed for the night. You all left to pick Dot and headed to the club.

People were queuing to enter the club, Wanda walked past all of them, waved at the bouncer who took a step back to let you all in. You could feel the heat coming from the club and inside you were stalked by blinding strobe lights. Your silver haired friend was at the bar, providing people with drinks before they resumed their sensual dancing.

“You made it!” Pietro beamed when he saw his sister. “Aw and you brought grandma!” He smirked when he saw you.

“Fuck off, Maximoff.” You leaned against the bar, your skirt hiked up your thighs, making Steve suddenly gasp for air.

“Let’s see if grandma’ can still move.” Before you could protest, Wanda took your hand and made you follow her to the dancefloor.

Rolling your eyes, you started to loosen a bit, swaying your hips to the rhythm of the electronic music, the white neon lighting giving you the impression to dance in slow motion. Two songs later you were really into it. You and the crowd of sweaty bodies were like a single entity.

“Okay, what about her?” Bucky asked, pointing the neck of his beer bottle towards a girl.

Steve didn’t listen to him. He took a sip of his beer, his back pressed against the bar and smiled. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you as you laughed with Wanda and Dot.

“Hey, earth to Steve!” Bucky snapped his fingers in front of Steve’s eyes. He followed his gaze and sighed. “Again with Y/n?! You can’t have her, she’s your roommate and all that shit you keep repeated for nearly a year. So focus and look at that girl.”

“Nice.” Steve tore his eyes away from your undulating body to look at the girl sitting at the other end of the bar. “But she has a boyfriend.” He grinned at Bucky when a blond haired man joined the red haired girl and they started to make out.

Dot came back, took Bucky’s hand, urged him from his chair and escorted him to the dancefloor, leaving Steve on his own at the bar.

“Steve?”

He turned around, his brows furrowed in confusion. He spotted Sharon who waved at him before she crossed the room to sit next to him. “I recognised you right away.” She chuckled, setting her purse on the counter.

Pietro set two beers in front of them and grinned at Steve who raised his bottle in a silent thank you.

“You’re here with Y/n?” She asked a bit wearily.

“She’s somewhere around.” Steve looked around to see if he could see you but you were gone.

“Is there anything going on between you and Y/n?” Sharon asked, fiddling with her beer. Steve shook his head, he wished but everyone kept telling him to move on. “Do you wanna dance?” Sharon was suddenly cheerful.

“I-I don’t know how to dance.” Steve shouted over the music.

“It’s not really dancing,” She laughed. “It’s more like swaying your hips to the beat of the song.” She took his hand and forced him on the dancefloor.

You watched as Steve followed Sharon, she laughed when she put her hands on his hips, helping him move according to the beat. You swallowed, but the knot in your throat was still very much present so you turned and looked at the man sitting next to you. You just rebuffed him but there was nothing holding you back anymore.

“Actually, I’d like to go out with you.”

“What made you change your mind?” He asked with a grin.

“Nothing. Tomorrow night, is that good?” You gave him your number after he nodded.

At the end of the night, you were walking back to your apartment with Wanda, both of you walking in zigzag, laughing and singing at the top of your voices while you held your high heels in your hand. You lost track of the others and since Pietro kept your glass full all night long, you were downright drunk.

Opening your front door ended up being the most difficult task in the world. Three hazy keyholes moved in circular patterns in front of your tired eyes. You giggled for no reason each time the key missed the keyhole while Wanda sat on the floor holding her head. Once the door was unlocked, you entered and collapsed on your bed. Wanda groaned, throwing her shoes on the floor before she fell next to you. The next day you woke up with the worst hangover in the history of hangovers. You walked to the kitchen where Steve was quietly sipping on his coffee but somehow he was making way too much noise.

“Morning.” He whispered when he saw your wild hair and the clothes you wore the night before. You sat next you him, placed a finger on your lips before you buried your face in your hands. “I should say afternoon ‘cause it’s past two.” He chuckled when you smacked his forearm, silently begging him to shut up.

“Two?” Your voice was hoarse with sleep and alcohol. “I have a date tonight, _gosh_.” You mumbled, resting your forehead against the cold table.

“A date?” He repeated, his smile was long gone.

“Yeah, a guy from the bar last night.”

“You’re going on a date with a guy from the bar last night.” Steve repeated like a robot, lips pressed together.

“Steve, can you please tone it down a notch?” You mumbled against your palms and whined when he planted his feet flat on the floor and pushed himself upright.

He left the flat and knocked on Peggy’s door. Sharon opened the door, her face lit up when she saw Steve.

“You know last night, you said we should go out... you and I.” He said before he turned to face his front door when he heard more groans. “How about tonight?”

“Tonight?” She looked surprised. “Um, yeah, of course. What made you change your mind?”

“Um?” He turned to look at her. “Oh, uh, just... turns out I have nothing planned tonight so I thought you’d like to go out.”

It took all your remaining strength to go to your room and you had no idea how you were supposed to go on a date when you were feeling so woozy. Wanda was completely drained of her energy but she still helped you. After a lot of makeup to hide the mess that alcohol and lack of sleep did to your skin, you were leaving to go on your date.

You took something for your headache and despite the slight need to puke your guts out, you still managed to walk like a normal person. The waitress took you to your table and you waited. After ten minutes of eating all the bread from the bread basket, you texted Wanda that your date was still nowhere in sight.

Twenty minutes later, the waitress came back to ask you if your friend was going to arrive soon. You didn’t miss the sorry smile on her lips when she asked the question. You chuckled to yourself, he stood you up. The guy, you didn’t even want to go out with in the first place, ditched you. You would have laughed if it were not for the sorry glances and smiles from complete strangers around you.

You left the restaurant, slightly mortified and stopped on your way home to buy ice-cream. You settled in front of the television and chose a horror movie, imagining that the characters that were killed off on screen were the stupid guy who stood you up.

Some time later, Steve and Sharon returned to the building after their date. She was playing with her keys as they stood in front of her aunt’s front door, he had his hands deep in his pockets.

“Do you want to come in for a coffee?” She gave him a hopeful smile.               

Steve looked down at his feet. Sharon was a nice girl and they had a good time but he wasn’t interested in her that way. He felt guilty, he only asked her out because he was jealous of the man you went out with and now he had to turn her down. A loud scream that came from your television echoed through the corridor, startling them.

“I think I should go home.” Steve replied and leaned to kiss her cheek.

Steve opened the front door, took his jacket off and frowned when he saw you in your pyjamas, hiding under the blanket with your tub of ice-cream.

“You’re home early.”

“My date ditched me. First date since I moved here a year ago and he didn’t even show up.” You explained, half opening your eyes thinking that the serial killer was done with all the murders.

You looked at the screen but the killer launched himself at a kid, cutting him to pieces. You squealed loudly and covered your eyes with the blanket again. “I heard you went out with Sharon.” You said, looking over your shoulder as Steve retrieved a spoon from the kitchen drawer.

“Yeah.” He nodded and sat next to you on the sofa.

“So, you had fun?” You tried to sound casual. “She didn’t ask you to go back to her place?” You couldn’t help but sound bitter.

“She did.” Steve stabbed his spoon into the tub of ice cream, digging out a mouthful.

“And you didn’t follow her?” You used a hand to shield you from the gruesome scene on the television and looked at Steve who was staring at the screen.

“I didn’t.” He replied, licking his now empty spoon.

“Why?”

“I heard you were home.” He shrugged and took another spoonful of ice cream.

“And?” You asked, almost breathless despite being sitting down.

“And I’d rather spend time with you.” His eyes focused on the screen, he put the spoon to his lips.

You watched with intense interest as his full lips closed around the metallic cutlery before a million butterflies spun circles in your belly and you tried to get rid of them. You looked down at your lap and saw the ice cream.

“I love spending time with you too, Steve but if you eat all my ice cream I’m gonna have to kill you.”

“You can’t kill me. I’m payin’ half the rent.” He turned his head to look at you and smirked. “Besides, you can’t even watch a horror movie, so I doubt you’d have the nerves to kill me.” He took the tub of ice cream from your lap and kept it in his large hand.

“You take a girl’s ice cream after she got stood up, I’m capable of anything.” You waved your spoon in front of his face trying to intimidate him but failed and he chuckled.

He slung his arm over the back of the sofa and beckoned you over with a nod. You mirrored his grin and moved closer to him, you would much rather have his arm wrap around you but you tried to put the thought away. You snatched the tub of ice cream from his hand, but then he turned his head and pursed his bottom lip in an adorable pout and you were done for it. With a playful roll of your eyes you put the ice cream down between you two and tried not to melt when Steve kissed your temple. Everything felt so natural with Steve, you let an agreeable feeling of oneness settled within you.


	5. Forelsket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the fair, Steve tries to catch a doll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forelsket (Norwegian) is the euphoric feeling you experience when you are first falling in love.  
> Language, suggestive references and the /thing/ that probably everyone’s been waiting for *wink wink*

 

A week or so after, what Wanda liked to call, the _ice cream incident_ , Bucky barged into your flat as if he still lived there. Dot scolded him and apologised to you and Steve, her heels clicked on the wooden floor as she crossed the living room.

“Hell no!” Bucky shouted when he saw you in your pyjamas in front of the television and Steve sitting in a chair near the sofa, reading a book. “Guys, even my grandparents have more fun than you.” He snickered. You both rolled your eyes and returned to your screen and book.

“Let’s go to the fair!” Dot beamed before you shoved popcorn into your mouth, looking at her with very little excitement.

“Can’t you see I’m wearing my flannel pants?” You lifted the bowl of popcorn from your lap. “I am not going anywhere.”

“Damn right.” Steve leaned forward and took a handful of popcorn, looking back at Bucky with a one shoulder shrug.

Bucky stood in the middle of the room, arms folded against his chest. He remained silent for a moment thinking about his next move before a devilish grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“’K, we’ll stay here.” He seemed to capitulate before he said. “Let’s play truth or dare.” He gave each of you an impish look and you both stood up from your respective seats, knowing what he intended to do.

You thought that Bucky was only teasing you, he knew that you had a crush on Steve, but little did you know that Bucky was playing with the both of you.

“Fine.” You both muttered angrily while you entered your bedroom to change into something more appropriate.

Bucky was proud of himself, you wanted to slap that shit-eating grin off his face but instead you climbed into the backseat next to Steve. The ride was short and before you knew it, loud screams and music could be heard coming from the fair.

Bucky and Dot were super excited, they decided to start with the Funhouse where people walk around a fake house filled with traps. Bucky entered first, followed by Dot, you and Steve. Bucky kept falling to the ground, dragging Dot with him and you were laughing so much that you could feel the warm ache in your abs. You doubled over at the waist, trying to catch your breath when Steve joined you in peals of laughter.

After what felt like an eternity, Bucky stopped close to the corner that led to a spooky, empty corridor.

“Okay, it’s a long ass hall with absolutely nothing, which means that there must be traps everywhere. So look out!” He warned everyone and you all nodded, ready to dodge all the tricks.

Bucky walked wearily but when he reached the middle of the corridor and nothing happened he turned around.

“Weird, there’s nothing.” He shrugged, a bit disappointed.

As if on cue, the travelator hidden under the carpet where you were standing switched itself on and made you lose your balance. You screamed but two large hands circled your waist, holding you tight to prevent your falling. Steve was standing above you, from your awkward position he appeared upside down.

“Wow, thanks Steve.” You giggled, straightening your posture before he walked past you and took your hand.

“My pleasure.” He smiled before he followed Dot who was falling on top of Bucky with a loud giggle. “Hold my hand and don’t let go. I’ll be your shield.” He winked.

 _Is it possible to burst into flames?_ You thought as you looked down at your intertwined hands. He closed his fingers around yours and your heartbeat rose. You could feel your heart in your throat, beating faster, warming your skin as blood ran faster through your veins.

The end of the ride was near, you could see the exit door and it was at this exact moment that cold water fell from a bucket hidden above you. Steve was quick to react, he turned around and used his body to protect you from the freezing water. The t-shirt of your human shield was soaked and you couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped your throat. Thankfully, the fair was loud enough to cover your whimper. Steve’s wet t-shirt clung to the toned muscles of his body in a very obscene way.

 _FUCKING HELL! THIS IS PORN! NO, IT’S BETTER THAN PORN._ You screamed in your head, trying your best to keep your expression impassive.  

“Are you okay? Are you wet?” Steve took a step back and looked at your clothes.

“I-I’m fine.” You muttered, trying to shut the voice in your head that screamed _I’M SO FUCKING WET!_

The evening was warm and his shirt dried fast. He didn’t seem to notice all the looks the girls were giving him as they walked past you. Bucky and Dot queued for another ride while you continued to walk with Steve.

“So, what do you wanna do?” You turned to Steve and cocked a brow when he nodded towards a shooting game. “Really?”

“Yeah, at least I’m sure I’ll win something.”

“Cocky.” You playfully hit his arm. He chuckled lightly and shook his head before he put a five-dollar bill on the counter.

A little boy was standing next to Steve, trying to win the big price. Steve took the worn-out plastic gun and aimed at the three balloons in front of him. When he pulled the trigger, a balloon exploded. You praised his skill with a “good shot!” He smiled as he aimed his gun again and took his second shot, the two remaining balloons exploded. Steve grinned to himself when you let out a loud whoop of excitement. He returned the gun to its owner and collected his price.

The man grabbed a huge stuffed dog and put it in front of Steve, telling him he won the big price. Without thinking twice about it, Steve gave the cuddly toy to the little boy next to him. The little boy was overjoyed and Steve’s smile grew wider, revealing his impeccable white teeth. You couldn’t take your eyes off him but put a hand on your stomach to calm the butterflies that were fluttering wildly. Falling for your roommate was an insufferable curse.

“Wanna try?” Steve faced you, his sweet voice pulled you out of your reverie.

“After your amazing performance? I’ll look like an oaf.”

“I know you can do it.” He smiled and paid the man. “Let me help you.”

You tightened your grip on the plastic rifle while Steve moved to stand behind you. His large hands landed on your shoulders and moved down your arms to help you hold the gun properly. His head was close to yours, his hot breath hitting your cheek as he explained how to aim but you were too dizzy to listen. He could feel your heart pumping fast and thought you were nervous. Hesitantly he put his hands on your waist, stilling you as you took your aim.

“It’s gonna be fine. Take a deep breath and when you’re ready just pull the trigger.”

After you shot your three bullets, two balloons were still in the small box. Steve rubbed his hands over your sides to comfort you and your breath hitched in your throat. You thanked your lucky star that he couldn’t see your face.

“Hey, you did great!” He turned you around and beamed.

The owner took the gun back and handed you a small keychain that Steve took. It was as if you were in a dream, you wanted to lean into his touch and press kisses to his neck and lips, run your fingers through his soft blond hair but he was not yours. He looked at the keychain as if it were the best thing he had ever seen and you blinked, shattering the illusion you had created in your mind. He gave you the keychain when he saw Bucky and Dot.

Dot shared her candy floss with you before Steve brought the group over to the claw machines. You were with Dot, trying to catch various objects from different machines when you both ran out of coins. You looked around to find Steve. He was lurking in the corner, with his eyes fixed on a claw crane where a teenager was trying to win a doll for his girlfriend.

“You look a bit creepy.” You startled him, he huffed out a breath before he chuckled and focused on the machine again. “What are you doing?” You asked as Dot joined you.

The teenager gave up and Steve made a beeline for the machine. “See, that’s the key to win something. _Patience_.” He put a coin in the machine and grinned at you and Dot. “At the beginning the claw is very loose. If you play long enough, the claw will harden.”

“I love it when he talks dirty, don’t you Y/n?” Dot chuckled playfully before Steve threw her an annoyed glance. “Tell us more about your hard claw, Steve.” She deadpanned, planting her chin in her fist as if she were attending a fascinating lecture.

“Anyway,” Steve sighed. “I think that boy put like five dollars’ worth of quarters and he still left with nothing but look...” He nudged your side with his elbow when he found the perfect spot to catch the doll he wanted.

He pressed the button on the joystick and watched as the claw descended and gripped the little doll. You held your breath while the claw moved back to the price box and cheered when it dropped the doll into the opening.  Steve bent to take his price and childishly waved it in front of Dot’s face.

“Show off.” She grumbled before she joined Bucky who was inserting coin after coin into the machine to win a small teddy bear. Steve was looking at his doll with a soft smile when you waved a hand in front of his eyes to catch his attention.

“You really are showing off, Steve.” An amused laugh passed through your lips.

“When I was younger, winning silly things at the fair was my forte.” He smiled at the doll, reminiscing about his childhood memories. “Actually, it was the only thing I was good at.” He looked up with big blue eyes and a tight smile before he took a deep breath. “But it was also the only thing Bucky was terrible at.” He scoffed when he glanced at Bucky who was still trying to win that teddy bear.

“It’s a pretty impressive skill. Useless, but impressive.” You said with a nod towards the doll. “It’s all about good opportunity, right?”

“I guess.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck before he took your hand and placed the small doll in it. “For my favorite doll.” His smile crinkled around the corners of his eyes and his face turned slightly red, making you stare at him completely flabbergasted.  

The doll fell to the ground when you moved to hold his hand. Steve’s smile vanished, his lips remained slightly parted as he stared into your eyes. Your breathing started to hitch, body drawn to each other like magnets. He licked his lips, making them shine and you could feel it, those few handless seconds, the agonizing longing, right before a kiss. Before Steve was able to close the distance, Bucky’s loud cry made you snap your head in his direction ruining the moment.

“I was so close.” Bucky pounded his fist against the glass before he put yet another coin into the slot. “Come on!” He guided the joystick to catch his price.

“Looks like Buc-” You chuckled breathlessly and gasped when Steve’s arm snaked around your waist, holding you tight, your chest almost pressed against his. You let out a surprised sigh that made him shiver, a low groan rumbled out of his chest. You felt it. He watched you, his chest rose and fell rapidly with his breathing.

“Tell me to stop.” He breathed out, his lips hovering so close to yours and yet they were still too far away for your liking.

“N-Not a chance.” You stammered out before he finally closed the distance and kissed you.

Fireworks exploded in your belly, nothing else mattered but Steve as you closed your eyes and returned the kiss. It was slow and gentle, a bit cautious at first but you both found what you had been craving for almost a year. You had daydreamed what it would feel like to kiss him but it was better. It was palpable, real and you were already addicted to his soft full lips.

Eventually he had to pull back to breathe, Bucky’s triumphant victory scream made you both turn to look at him. You picked the doll from the ground and joined him. Steve stood speechless a bit longer before he followed you and praised Bucky who gave the teddy bear to Dot. They didn’t see the kiss, they were too busy playing their claw crane game.

“Good job! It cost you like twenty bucks but you did it.” Steve snickered and you chuckled before meeting his eyes. His face lit up with a huge smile and you looked down at your feet with a sheepish smile.

“Yeah, I’m done.” Bucky kicked at the machine that swallowed all his money. “Let’s go home.” He slung an arm around Dot’s shoulders while you all returned to the car.

You sat next to Steve in the backseat and watched as the moon seemed to follow you. You were gazing through the window when you felt Steve’s hand on top of yours. You turned your head to look at him, he had the sweetest smile on his lips. You laced your fingers with his, shooting Bucky and Dot a wary look but they were still focused on the road.

The ride back felt so much longer but you finally stepped out of the car, waving goodbye to your friends. When the car turned right at the corner, you were both standing nervously in front of each other. You took a step forward, wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.

“This might be a terrible idea.” You muttered against his mouth.

“I don’t care.” He chased after your mouth when you pulled away and planted a firm kiss on your lips. “I wanted this for so long.”

You led him inside and climbed the steps to your shared apartment. His face was buried deep in the crook of your neck as you tried to open the front door. When the door was finally unlocked, he closed it behind him with a swift movement of his foot. But once you were both in the apartment, the reality of your situation both hit you in the stomach and the excitation disappeared.

“We should take this slow.” Steve broke the silence. “You’re one of my best friends, I don’t wanna lose you because we couldn’t keep it in our pants.”

“Yeah,” You agreed with a soft chuckle. “And we’re roommate, it makes things tricky.” You pressed a kiss to his soft lips, making sure to linger a bit. “I’m glad it happened, it was about time. Sweet dreams, Steve.” You entered your room and closed the door behind you, leaving a stunned Steve in the middle of the living room, his fingers grazing over his bottom lip.


	6. Cafuné

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Reader go on a date... with each other. Yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cafuné (Portuguese) is the act of running one’s fingers through their lover’s hair.   
> Language and implied sex ;)

 

Sleep seemed to elude you, no matter how much you tossed and turned in your bed, you were still wide awake. Frustrated, you opened your bedroom door and saw Steve sitting on the sofa. His eyes were locked on the screen but he raised his head when he saw you. With a smile, he patted the empty seat next to him.

“Trouble sleeping?”

“Yeah.” You chuckled and sat next to him. “What are you watching?”

“The beginning of the horror movie you were watchin’ the other day.” He raised a brow at you when you stood up and walked to your room. “Hey, where’re you going?” He reached out for your hand.

“That movie was gross, I don’t want to see it again. If I try hard enough I’ll fall asleep.” You replied without conviction.

He stood up, still holding your hand and brought it to his lips. You raised a hand and cupped the side of his face, tracing the curve of his cheekbone with your thumb.

“Stay. We can watch something else, I don’t mind.” He kissed the heel of your palm.

“I should really try to get some sleep. I have to work tomorrow, _unlike some people_.” You smirked, gently patting his cheek. Tony Stark kept throwing wild parties on Saturdays and required the presence of all his employees, so they usually didn’t work Mondays. Steve scoffed before he took a deep breath.

“When I was a kid and couldn’t sleep, my mom used to run her fingers through my hair and sing a lullaby. I can’t sing for shit but, I mean, if you want to, you can lie down on the couch with me a-and- I-” You cut him off with a soft kiss.

“You were rambling.” You grinned affectionately. He slightly rolled his eyes, his cheeks and ears flushed red.

Steve took your hand and led you to the sofa where you lay your head in his lap. He chose a comedy and started to tentatively stroke your hair. You hummed out in bliss and nestled closer to him when his fingers found a nice rhythm. It felt really good but something was odd.

You had kissed Steve for the first time only about four hours ago and you were already in what felt like a serious relationship. It was an upsetting thought and you tried to push it to the back of your mind. It was supposed to be the beginning of your relationship, you should have longed to see him but how could you when he lived in the same apartment?

You got along pretty well, but living with a friend and living with a boyfriend are two very different things.

You fell asleep while Steve ran his long fingers through your hair. When he heard your breathing even out, he knew you were asleep. He carried you to your bed, left a note on your bedside table and smiled to himself as he closed the door.

The next morning, you woke up in your bed and checked the time. Steve was probably already out for his morning run. You found the note on your bedside table:

_Tonight, 7pm. Can’t wait to see you. x_  

Fear crept slowly into your brain and made you question everything. Was it a good idea to date your roommate? _Probably not_ , said the voice of reason inside your head _. But I’ve had feelings for Steve for so long_ , you tried to negotiate with your inner Jiminy Cricket. _Nothing will change... just more kisses and sex._

You came home from work late and expected to see Steve but he wasn’t there. Wanda wasn’t answering her phone and you desperately needed to talk to a friend. You were about to leave another voicemail when someone knocked on the door.

“Steve?” You frowned when you saw him standing on the doorstep. “You forgot your keys?” He kept an arm behind his back and chuckled lightly, his eyes cast down before he gave you the bouquet of red roses hidden behind his back.

“I’m taking you out for our first proper date, remember?” A wide smile spread across his lips and the sight of his adorable bashful face made you feel a bit less anxious. “Thought it would be nice to pick you up. Let’s just pretend that you’re not living with me.” He laughed, balancing himself on the balls of his feet to peek inside. “You have a nice apartment.” He grinned.

You laughed with a shake of your head and let him in. He looked around, pretending to see the apartment for the first time while you went to the kitchen to put the roses in water.

“You live with someone?” He resumed his improvised roleplay.

“Yes, I have a roommate. Funny, his name is Steve too.” You played along, smirking to yourself as you opened the cupboards to find a vase.

“Oh, I bet he’s really nice.”              

“Meh.” You shrugged theatrically, the mortified expression on his face made you laugh. He sulked like a child, his bottom lip jutting out in a fake pout. “I can’t find a vase. Do we even have one?” You asked him and called out his name when he didn’t answer.

“I’m not your roommate tonight, I’m your date.” He replied with a proud smirk.

“Well, can you be my roommate for ten seconds and tell me where I can find a vase?” You rolled your eyes but your lips curled into a smile.

“Under the sink.” He sighed, unhappy that you shattered the illusion.

“Got it!” You confirmed while gingerly placing the roses in the vase before you returned to the living room. “Thank you for the roses.” You pecked his cheek and took your jacket.

You walked together to the Italian restaurant where Steve had made a reservation. After a while you reached the place and followed the waiter to your table.

“Great! I wanted to try that restaurant.” You beamed, taking the menu from the waiter’s hand.

“I know.” Steve grinned, raising his head from behind his own menu. “You mentioned it last month.” You smiled, your bottom lip caught between your teeth and returned your attention to the menu.

You knew each other quite well after living together for a year. You talked about your day, Steve told you about his and you made plans for the next day. Not really a traditional date but it might have been the best one you had ever had. Time flew by and you were surprised when the waiter informed you that the restaurant was going to close soon.

Once the bill was paid, you walked back to your apartment hand in hand. You took your keys out of your purse and unlocked the door, keeping a hand on the handle as you turned to face Steve.

“I don’t know if I should let you in. I don’t usually bring guys home after one date.” You restarted his little game, grinning from ear to ear as Steve tutted.

“Actually,” He removed the hand you had on the doorknob and opened the door. “Why don’t you come back to _my_ place?” A small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips when you walked past him.

“Wow! It looks exactly like my apartment.” You beamed in faux amazement and heard Steve chuckle behind you as he closed the door.

You felt his hands on your hips and turned around to face him. He caught you in his embrace, his hands rubbing the small of your back until you were pressed against him. Without hesitation, he covered your lips with his, massaging them gently before slowly opening his mouth. You nipped and sucked at his bottom lip, the tip of your tongue tracing the seam of his curved lip.

When he pulled away, you chuckled trying to tame the mess you made with your fingers. His dirty blond hair was sticking out in all directions, making him look especially gorgeous. While you apologised with a laugh and tried to comb his hair back, he looked at you with nothing but adoration.

“We have to talk about this... situation.” You were dead serious but couldn’t stop smiling.

“I know, we will.” He kissed you again. “But not right now.”

“So,” You pulled away, still smiling at him as you walked backward toward your bedroom. “I guess this was our goodnight kiss. I should leave, my roommate must be worried.”

“I’m sure he’s fine.” Steve strutted slowly towards you. “Tonight, I want you for my own.”

“I thought you wanted to take this slow.” You cocked a brow at him, his shy smile made you grin affectionately. He stood in front of his bedroom door and tilted his head to the side, his tongue darted out to swipe across his bottom lip before he nodded.

“Goodnight.” You both uttered at the same time, closing your bedroom doors in unison.

You pressed your back against the door and sank to the floor, eyes closed and bottom lip trapped between your teeth as you mentally relived your date. You would have squealed with joy if your date were not just a few walls away. Suddenly your eyes snapped open, you wanted him. Now! You stood up, opened the door to go to his room, but came face to face with Steve.

You both laughed lightly before his lips found yours in a searing kiss and his hands cupped your ass to make you jump into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his small waist as he pressed you against the bathroom door, thinking it was a wall. The door wasn’t locked and you both almost fell, but it only made you chuckle against his lips as he walked you blindly to his bedroom.

It was late when you fell asleep, the room had that distinct scent of sex and perspiration that lingered in the air. Your legs were tangled together, one of his knees between yours. You were curled against Steve’s broad chest, lulled to sleep by the steady rise and fall of his breathing. He was too happy to sleep and, instead, played with your hair while his other hand traced patterns on your bare back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you smell the angst? 'Cause I can :P  
> Also if you guys are interested, I finally decided to use the tumblr I made ages ago. Same username, so if you wanna talk or whatever you can find me there :)


	7. Oodal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone learns what’s going on between Reader and Steve but it might be too much for Reader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oodal (Tamil) is the exaggerated or fake anger that follows a lover’s quarrel.  
> Fluff and angst because I'm a terrible person.

 

You were in the midst of a heavy make-out session when your friends barged into your flat without knocking. It was exactly a week after your first date, and you were making pancakes for your friends but Steve had other plans. He wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

“Steve,” You moaned softly, tilting your head back while he planted hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck. “They are going to come soon.”

“Think you can come before them?” He whispered into your ear before nibbling your earlobe.

He smirked against your skin when you let go of the frying pan to run your fingers through his hair. He swept you into his arms and sat you on the kitchen counter. His hands roamed the contours of your body as he showered you with kisses.

“FUCKING FINALLY!” Bucky barked.

Startled by Bucky’s voice, Steve took a step back while you instinctively put your fingers over lips. They were still warm and swollen from the kiss. The smell of burning food clogged your nostrils, you quickly climbed off the counter and turned off the stove.

“I’m not eating that.” Pietro gestured loosely towards the frying pan and made a sound of discontentment. Wanda nudged his side with her elbow. “I mean, good for you. You’re probably too worked up to eat anything but _I am starving_.”

You shot daggers at Pietro before you kissed Steve’s cheek, whispering so only he could hear. “I’ll take care of breakfast if you need a moment.” He nodded, both his hands covering the growing bulge in his jeans.

Steve excused himself quickly and went to his room. Pietro opened his mouth to say something, his lips curled up into a malicious smirk and you waved your spatula menacingly.

“Say something and I’ll make you eat what’s in that frying pan.”

He closed his mouth shut and raised both hands up in surrender. When Steve came back, everyone was sitting around the table as you were serving breakfast.

“Does this mean we’re gonna have to knock now?” Bucky asked between forkfuls of scrambled eggs.

“You should always knock, babe.” Dot pointed out.

Bucky rolled his eyes and set his fork down on the table, reaching for the mug of steaming coffee. “But Steve’s my best friend.”

“Think about what we were about to see.” Dot smirked when Bucky’s mouth hung open. He faked a shiver and patted Steve forearm.

“I’ll knock, I swear.”

Steve had promised to have a serious conversation with you but he was always avoiding the subject. So when you friends left, you made sure he couldn’t escape you. The conversation went on for an hour, Steve rested his elbow on the table and supported his chin with his palm.

“I just don’t understand why you think that everything will change.” He shrugged and poured himself a third cup of coffee.

“Because we started dating last week and we live together.” You sighed your frustration. “It’s a complicated situation.”

“No, it’s not.” He frowned and narrowed his eyes. “We were living together long before we started dating.”

“Yeah, but you don’t usually live with a person you _just_ started dating.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that one.” He nodded before he gulped down the rest of his coffee. “We did the whole thing backward, so what?”

“I’m just afraid we’re moving too fast, that’s all.” You confessed.

Steve took a deep breath and slumped back in his seat, his eyes locked on the ceiling. He never lived with a woman before, never kept a girlfriend for long but he could feel it in his bones, you were the right one. He already wasted months because he was too shy to ask you out and he didn’t want to lose more time.

“Okay, how about this?” He looked back at you. “We keep sleeping in our rooms and we try to spend time outside the apartment.” He said with a hopeful smile.

“Good.” You nodded and returned his smile.

And you did it, you managed a healthy, responsible relationship with your roommate... for about three months. The chore chart was a good thing when you were roommates but you both got lazy and postponed cleaning, which often resulted in arguments. You spent most of your nights with your boyfriend rather than going out with your friends. But the last straw was Sharon. She wasn’t especially mean, she just had this despicable attitude everytime you met her in the hallway.

“I’m telling you she doesn’t like me.” You said one afternoon after you came back from the supermarket.

“Why? You barely talk to her anyway.” Steve shrugged. “Why would Sharon be so upset with you?”

“Because you chose me. C’mon, she always scoffs when I say something, but with you... she plays with her hair or bites her bottom lip.” You hit Steve’s bicep with the back of your hand when he rolled his eyes. “It’s true!”

“Are you jealous, Y/n?” He grinned before you turned on the balls of your feet and left with an exasperated groan. “Oh sweetheart, you know I’m yours, right?” He chuckled, following you to the living room. “There was nothing between her and I, she never even asked for a second date. She’s just being friendly because we take care of Peggy.”

“You are so fucking blind.” You turned around and crossed your arms over your chest. “Remind me how long it took you to see that I was interested in you?”

He cringed at your words, silently admitting that he wasn’t the best judge of character when it came to women.

“I’m gonna go out, okay?” He put his hands on your arms and forced you to look at him. You sulkily met his eyes as he stroked up and down your arms. “You’ll have the apartment to yourself, you will do whatever you want.” He kissed your forehead. “If you want me to spend the night at Bucky’s, I’ll do it.”

“No,” You shook your head. “Everything will be fine.”

“Hey! We’ve been through this, it’s not the first time.” Steve held your chin between two fingers and put a gentle kiss on your lips. He turned around and took the jacket he had just removed.

“That’s the problem.” You mumbled.

“You said anything?” He turned around thinking you had called his name.

“No.” You replied quickly. “I’ll see you later.”

When he closed the door behind him, you ran your hands down your face with a discouraged sigh. You paced to and fro in the empty flat and decided to call Wanda, hoping that your best friend might have a miraculous solution. When she heard your broken voice over the phone, she arrived less than an hour later with your favourite food.

“Do you want to stay at my place tonight?” She asked after you briefly explained the situation. “Pietro is with his girlfriend, so you can use his room.”

“No, thank you.” You shook your head. “Steve will be back tonight and, once again, we’ll pretend nothing happened. I’m not crazy, you’ve seen how Sharon looks at him.”

Wanda nodded and swallowed her food before she continued. “She’s into Steve, it’s obvious.”

“Well he doesn’t think so.” You moved your food around on your plate with your fork.

“You know what?” She wiped her mouth with her napkin and gathered the plates. “We should go out.”

“I don’t wanna go out. Steve will be back soon, I think we need to talk.” You took a deep breath and gulped down your drink before you followed Wanda into the kitchen.

“Honestly there’s nothing to talk about, Y/n. Sharon has a crush on Steve and he’s happy with you.” She shrugged as you both cleaned. “He can’t see that someone else has a crush on him? I’d say it’s a good thing, means that you’re the only girl he likes.”

“I know.” You leaned against the door, your back facing the living room. Wanda opened the cupboard, searching for something sweet. “But it’s not just about Sharon, we fight about dumb things like old couples.”

“That’s because you guys live together.” She replied without looking, still searching the cupboards.

“But we shouldn’t be living together, it’s too soon.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Sometimes I wonder if this whole relationship was not a mistake. Maybe we should break up.” You said without meaning it.

You just needed to hear yourself say it out loud, see how it sounded and what Wanda would say, but then you saw the look on her face. She was looking at something behind your shoulder and your stomach twisted in knots. You turned around quickly, Steve was in the middle of the living room and judging by the look of betrayal and hurt in his eyes, he heard everything.

“Steve.” You gasped and took a step forward. He raised a hand to keep you away so you stood still on the threshold of the living room.

He pressed his lips together and cast his head down, looking at his feet. Out of your peripherals you could see that Wanda had both her hands over her mouth and her eyes closed shut. Your blood ran cold and you felt suddenly really sick. He trapped his bottom lip and dragged his teeth across the flesh, trying to pull himself together when tears gathered in his eyes.

“Steve,” You breathed out again, finally meeting his eyes. “I’m sorry, please-”

You cut yourself off when he avoided your eyes again. He looked at his hand and scoffed when he saw the flower. On his way back home, he cut through the park and bought it from a lady who was selling tulips. He thought that the single red tulip was the most beautiful one, and that you should have it. He let it fall to the ground, it didn’t matter anymore. He simply wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

In a few long strides, he reached the door and ran down the stairs. At the top of your lungs you shouted an apology and almost missed a step as you tried to follow him. He was way too fast, and by the time you reached the street he was already gone.


	8. Hyggelig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader makes new friends to forget about Steve, but it's not that easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hyggelig (Danish) is a feeling of friendship, warmth, peace and contentment in a comfortable and cosy atmosphere.

 

You scrapped your knees when you feel on the pavement still screaming Steve’s name, but he was long gone. Wanda found you and wrapped her arms around your shoulders, shushing you the best she could before you passed out on the sofa. You were too exhausted to think, but it was the middle of the week and you had to go to work. Wanda stayed with you. The next day, she made sure you ate something before you went to work.

When you came home you tried to call Bucky or Dot, but they didn’t even know that you and Steve had a fight.

“Thanks for letting me stay, man.” Steve said as Sam, his work buddy, showed him the spare room.

“No worries. I know the feeling.” He patted Steve’s back and gave him a sympathetic smile. “You can stay as long as you like.”

A few days after the incident in the living room Steve came home. You were in your room trying to keep your mind busy when you heard the door open. You called his name and ran to the living room.

“I left you enough money for two months, but you should look for new roommate.” He put an envelope on the table. “I took my name off the lease.” He said, eyes fixed on the envelope.

“What? No, you can’t do that.” You pleaded as you approached him. “Steve, wait! I didn’t-”

“You did.” He cut you off and lifted his head to look at you. There was so much anger and pain in his eyes that you took a step back.  “I’m an idiot.” He said through a scoff. “I thought you and I-” He didn’t finish his sentence.

“No, please! Listen to me.” You tried to hold his arm, but he pulled it out of your reach.

“Bucky and Dot will stop by tomorrow to take what’s in my room. You can throw whatever’s left.” He entered his bedroom to take a bag and other things he needed for work.

“Please,” You grabbed hold of his strong arm, and now that you had your fingers around it you were not going to let go. “I’m sorry, I’m so _so_ sorry. If you could just listen to me.” You felt the bulge of his bicep flex as you kissed the exposed skin.

“I can’t look at you.” He closed his eyes and tried to calm his raging heart.  “It’s over. It’s what you wanted, uh?”

He took his bag and freed himself from your grip before he left his keys on the kitchen table and left without turning back.

You sank to the floor, crying in silence. In the middle of the night, you dragged yourself to his bed and hugged the pillow that still smelled like him. The next day, Bucky and Dot came to take Steve’s belongings. You couldn’t face them so you asked Peggy to open the door while you spent the day with Wanda.

You agreed to spend the night at her place. When you came home the next day, Steve’s room was completely empty.

The last thing you wanted was a new roommate, but you couldn’t afford the rent alone. A month or so later, you decided to put an ad. _A lot_ of people visited the apartment.

“You found your new roommate?” Wanda asked as she sat next to you on your sofa.

“Almost. I reduced the list to these two.” You showed her the papers of the two women you had picked. “Darcy made me laugh, but Natasha is more financially stable.”

You decided to call Natasha, the beautiful red haired woman took Steve’s room. It was hard to see someone else walk around the apartment, but you dealt with it. Natasha was pretty secretive, but she was also a very caring person. You knew she was in a relationship with a man named Clint, he looked like a bored murderer.

“Y/n?” Natasha came to your room one evening when Clint left to buy food from the Chinese restaurant down the street. “Who’s Steve?” She sat on your bed.

“S-Steve?” You stuttered before you turned to look at her. “Why?”

“You know the old woman next door? Well she asked me where Steve was and at first I thought she lost it, but she said you knew him and I never heard you speak of anyone named Steve.”

“Steve,” You cleared your throat, pacing nervously at the mention of his name. “You sleep in his room. H-He used to live here.” She nodded pensively. “And he was my boyfriend.”

“I see, complicated situation.” Her brows lifted up her forehead.

“You have no idea.” You sighed. “It was all my fault, I fucked it up. I saw his best friend today. He said he didn’t know where Steve was, but I know he’s lying.”

“You still love that Steve guy?”

“I never told him.” You snorted grimly. “I never said it and now... now it doesn’t matter anymore.” You inhaled deeply.

“Come eat with us.” Natasha gave you an affectionate smile. “Clint has some seriously stupid jokes that are so bad you can’t help but laugh. It will do you some good.”

You listened to Clint’s jokes and laughed with your new friends, forgetting for a moment the deep crack in your heart. Clint was standing on the doorstep, kissing his girlfriend like his life depended on it. You smiled to yourself, remembering how Steve used to surprise you with a passionate kiss at random times of the day.

“So what do you think of my blondie?” She asked after she closed the front door.

“At first he looked like he was going to kill me, but he’s a nice guy.”

“He calls it a resting murder face. It’s efficient when you’re the CEO’s bodyguard, but deep down he’s just a big dork.” She grinned while you both cleared the table. “And he’d forget his head if it were not attached to his body.” She groaned when she saw his phone on the coffee table.

“He can’t be far, give it to me.” Standing near the front door, you reached for the phone. You were about to go take the trash downstairs.

You ran down the stairs to the lobby and opened the door. Clint was already walking back towards the building. He hit his forehead with the flat of his hand when you waved the phone and thanked you with a quick hug before he left.

At the same moment, Steve was watching a movie with Sam. He kept checking his phone every five seconds.

“What’s up with you and your phone?” Sam pressed the ‘pause’ button on the remote when he had enough of Steve’s soft but numerous sighs.

“She hasn’t texted or called in two weeks.” Steve pocketed his phone. “She kept sending messages, saying she was sorry, but now... nothing. I think it’s really over now.”

“You still love her?”

“I never even said those words.” Steve snorted through his nostrils and shook his head. “I thought I’d save them for something special. I guess it’s better that way, she probably never loved me.” He shrugged but took his phone out again.

“She was right about one thing.” Sam shrugged, idly petting the black cat that was curled up in his lap. “That Sharon girl is crazy.”

“Yeah, I still can’t believe she followed me here. I want to go check on her aunt, but I’m afraid to see Y/n. I just hope she takes care of Peggy now that Sharon left.”

Someone knocked on the door, startling the black cat. Steve stood up to open the door as Sam looked over his shoulder and shouted.

“Hey, if it’s your hippy friend tell him to go wash his hair.” The animal purred as Sam petted it. “We don’t like Bucky, um? No, we don’t. You gonna claw him, my little panther? Yes, you are!” He spoke to the cat as if it were a baby.

“What’s up, Buck?” Steve said as he opened the door.

“It’s Y/n, pal. She found someone.”

“You sure?” He squeaked out, his voice was trapped in his throat.

“Yeah, blond guy, looks like one of those Russian hitman or some shit. We were leaving the restaurant when we saw them in front of her place. Sorry, man.”

_It’s definitely over now,_ Steve thought.

*

It was a Wednesday night and you were sitting at your kitchen table eating dinner with the girls, which included Wanda, Peggy and Natasha. Natasha had moved with you about two months ago and you already saw her as one of our best friends.

“We barely heard you.” Natasha poked your arm.

“She’s still brooding.”

“No, I was listening.” You smirked at your friends as you finished your plate.

“You should go with me to this work thing.” Natasha kept nagging you about this party she had to attend.

“Nope.” You scoffed and crossed your arms over your chest.

“It’s a fancy party and there are a lot of companies who are dying to hire someone as skilled as you are.” She said with a shrug.

“Yeah, that and you would stop thinking about Steve.” Wanda pursed her lips into an innocent, cute pout.

“You know, they are going to annoy with that until you say yes.” Peggy rubbed you forearm gently.

“Okay, fine.” You conceded with a smile and a shake of your head.

They were all overjoyed to see you smile again and you were starting to feel better. Steve never tried to contact you and while you were still thinking about him, you were trying to move on.

“Okay show me your best dress.” Natasha beamed. You went to your room and changed quickly before you entered the living room wearing your best dress. “Um, you look like a bridesmaid.”

“Well it was the original purpose of that dress.” You explained with a grin and they chuckled. “It’s my best dress, Nat.” You shrugged.

“Okay, follow me.”

Peggy and Wanda exchanged a suspicious look before they followed you and Natasha to her room. She opened a closet that was overflowing with gorgeous night gowns in every length and every colour. You gasped out loud as if you had just discovered a portal to Narnia and Natasha started to laugh.

“I used to work for a designer. He was _kind of_ in love with me and gave me a lot of stuff.” She sat next to Wanda on her bed.

“Wow! He was obsessed with you.” She nodded, her lips split into a smirk.

You tried to choose a dress, but everything was either too shiny or too colourful. The last thing you wanted was to look like a Christmas tree. You returned to the living room with a defeated sigh and noticed that Peggy was gone. You all looked for her and found her in her loft searching through the bedroom closets.

“I kept a few dresses I loved.” Peggy said, hearing footsteps behind her. She took a red dress protected by a see-through plastic cover. “This one was my favourite. I used to call it stiff-neck, ‘cause it turned the boys head so fast they had to wear a neck brace.” She gave you the dress.

It was elegant, yet very suggestive. The dress stopped just above your knees, a trim red belt with a small bow accentuated the waistline. The red was as dark as blood and the silk was as soft as skin.

“Can I borrow it?” You looked at the dress with wide eyes.

“Of course, dear. Kids love vintage stuff.” You thanked her a million times and kissed her cheek.


	9. Retrouvailles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Reader reunite at a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Retrouvailles (French) is the overwhelming relief and joy that accompanies seeing someone after a long separation.   
> Implied smut

 

On Saturday night you were on your way to the party. Natasha was wearing a beautiful dress that matched her eyes. You sat in the passenger seat, clad in Peggy’s gorgeous red dress. Natasha parked in front of the Start tower and you felt your stomach tying up in knots.

“We’re going to a party hosted by Tony Stark?” You shrieked.

“Yeah, no need to yell.” She wrinkled her nose up as she left the car.

“I can’t go, Steve works for him. The employees _have_ to attend the parties, he’s probably already in there.” You left the car, but didn’t move forward.

Natasha took your arm and forced you to follow her. Clint was waiting in front of the building, he put his phone in his pocket when you both crossed the street.

“Calm down, Y/n.” She said after she gave her name to a man who nodded and opened the door. “It’s a freaking tower, there are over thirty floors. I’m sure you won’t even see him.” She shrugged as the lift rose to the twentieth floor.

Steve and Sam were standing in front of the bay window on the twentieth floor. They were both wearing expensive suit that made them look particularly stunning.

“Not in the mood, uh?” Sam patted Steve’s back to comfort him. “You gotta get out there, man. Forget about her.”

“I can’t.” Steve sighed.

“Yes, you can!” Sam said loudly, some people were now looking at them. “I’ll be your wingman.”

Sam left to order two flutes of champagne from the barman. Steve turned around, his eyes swept across the room observing the guests before he recognised a face and his mouth opened in a silent gasp.

 He saw you thank a waiter and take a long sip of your drink before a beautiful, red-haired woman took the glass from your hand. He couldn’t tear his eyes off you, he found himself smiling softly when you laughed at something the woman said. Something inside him woke up, making him feel alive for the first time in months before he remembered what you said.

_Sometimes I wonder if this whole relationship was not a mistake. Maybe we should break up._

Sam walked back to Steve with a skip in his step, a glass of fizzy champagne in each hand. He frowned when Steve took one glass and stormed out of the room, throwing his head back to gulp down the sparkling wine.

“If you force me to attend this party, let me at least get drunk.” You whined as Natasha took the cup from your hand.

“If you get drunk you’ll end up making out with Tony Stark in a private jet.” She said and you laughed heartily before she turned to scan the room. “Look at that guy, he’s attractive and he looks like he could use some company.” She nodded towards a man with a gap between his front teeth as she drank from your glass.

“Um, yeah he’s hot.” You admitted before she pushed you forward.

Natasha pushed you with so much strength that you almost bumped into Sam. He caught you by your hand and chuckled.

“Wow, you’re okay there?” He asked before he recognised you. You had never met, but Steve’s screen saver was still a picture of the two of you, even three months after the breakup. So he recognised you right away.

“Yeah I’m fine.” You smiled, looking over your shoulder to see Natasha staring daggers at you as she joined Clint. “Listen, you are very handsome, but my friend wants me to find a guy and I’m still in love with my ex.” You sped up the words knowing you were revealing way too much.

“And do you have a name or should I just call you ‘girl who thinks I’m handsome and whose friend wants her to find a guy but she’s still in love with her ex’?” He laughed when you scrunched up your nose in embarrassment.

“You can call me Y/n.” You extended a hand and smiled.

“Sam.” He shook your hand. “I’m gonna get you something to drink, ‘k?”

You nodded before he went to the bar, something told you that he wouldn’t come back. You sighed to yourself and glanced back at the bar where Sam was talking to... Steve. _Oh shit_! Sam and Steve were looking at you. Sam patted Steve’s back before the latter took a step towards you. You suddenly forgot how to breathe.

You nervously looked around you, hands smoothing out non-existent wrinkles in your dress, but it was too late to find a way out. Steve greeted you with a polite _Hey_ that you echoed before you stared at each other.

“You look very beautiful.” He kept looking at you as you continued to shift your weight from one foot to the other. 

“Thank you. Peggy let me borrow her dress.” You crossed and uncrossed your arms over your chest. “You’re, um, you’re very handsome.” He smiled, thought it did not reach his eyes. “I didn’t know it was a Tony Stark party.” You said quickly, rubbing your hands up and down your arms anxiously.

“I heard you were dating someone.” He blurted out, avoiding your eyes as you frowned up at him.

“I’m not.” You shook your head. “Who told you that?”

“Bucky. He saw you with some blond guy in front of your apartment a few weeks ago.”

“Of course, Bucky,” You sighed closing your eyes. “Well no, it must have been my roommate’s boyfriend.” You turned and nodded towards the two lovebirds who were making out on a sofa.

“Oh, I think I saw them somewhere before.” He closed his eyes and tried to remember before he opened them wide and snapped his fingers. “That night when we went to the club where Pietro used to work. You remember?”

“Of course, it’s where I met the guy who asked me out and stood me up. You stayed with me and we-”

“Ate ice cream.” He finished for you with a gentle smile. You smiled at each other for a few seconds before his face fell serious. “Well, it was nice to see you again.” He turned to leave and your smile faded.

You swallowed hard, trying to moisten your throat before you opened your mouth to speak. “I miss you.”

He stopped mid-step and turned around. You saw the way his chin quivered before he tried to hide it.

“Don’t do that.” He said through gritted teeth. “You have no idea how painful it is.”

“You think I don’t know? You’re the one who left, Steve.” Your voice was unsteady, broken.

He looked at you for what seemed like ages. You wanted to cry and desperately tried to hold back the tears that filled your eyes.

“Do you wanna dance with me?” He asked, jaw still clenched. You nodded, thinking that a passive-aggressive invite to dance was better than nothing.

Steve’s body was as stiff as a board. He wasn’t looking at you and you could tell he was reluctant to touch you. Impulsively, you looked up and placed a kiss on his jawline. His eyes closed shut, mentally cursing himself when his stomach made a somersault. His hands involuntarily pulled you closer to him and it made you smile.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of the awful things I said.” You locked eyes with him. “I know I hurt you, but I never wanted to. I panicked, I was scared. That’s stupid, I know because I love you.” The words escaped and you swallowed the lump in your throat. “Please say something.”

He raised his chin and looked straight ahead, seemingly lost in his thoughts. You tried to gauge his expression, but his face was unreadable. He looked back at you and his features softened.

“I love you too.”

“You do? You never said it before.” You let a small smile tug at your lips.

“Neither did you.” He ran his hands higher and you could swear that you were going to burst into flame. You were feeling dizzy, grinning wider as you slowly closed the distance between you.

“I feel like I’m going to pass out. My skin is on fire.” You admitted out loud and felt a chuckle shake his chest.

“I know, I can feel it. You’re burning up.” He pressed his forehead against yours, he rubbed the tip of his nose against yours in a slow teasing motion.

“Steve,” His name came out as a needy moan. “I think now would be a good time to kiss me.” His hands cupped your face so that you couldn’t close the distance to kiss him.

“I want to make you suffer a bit longer.” His smirking lips hovered just above yours.

He watched intently as you ran your tongue over your lips in anticipation, slickening them for him. Soft, breathless mewling noises escaped your parted lips and he couldn’t hold back any longer. “Okay, you’ve suffered enough.” He grunted before his lips claimed yours in a hard, deep kiss.

The familiar sensation of his lips against yours turned your bones into jelly. It had been so long. You felt fire rush through your veins as Steve swallowed your moans, his long fingers tangled in your hair.

“Let’s get out of here.” He said, pulling away from you.

Steve took your hand and led you out of the room. Before you entered the lift, you looked at Natasha who gave you a thumbs-up.

As soon as you pushed the door of your flat, Steve’s hands were all over your body, exploring your flesh, caressing your thighs. You took him to your room and quickly removed your dress before you fell backward against the mattress with Steve on top of you.

He brought you to your peak with deep, fast thrusts, a perfect combination of pleasure and pain. You moaned his name like it was the only word you knew and he cried out, releasing himself inside you. He rolled off with a content groan and collapsed on the mattress at your side. You fell asleep with your head on his chest, listening as his heartbeat gradually returned to normal.

It was the middle of the night when you woke up, his side of the bed was empty. You almost jumped out of bed and took the first item of clothing without looking at it. You left your room and scanned the living room but he wasn’t there.

“You look good in my shirt.” His voice made you jump.

You turned around and saw him standing on the threshold of his old bedroom. Natasha wasn’t home, she must have spent the night with Clint.

“I like what she did with my room.”

“I thought you left.” You wrapped your arms around him and nestled against his chest.

“Without my shirt? I’d look stupid.” He joked, placing a tender kiss on your forehead. “I won’t leave, not unless you want me to.” He placed two fingers under your chin and raised your head to gauge your expression.

“I love you, Steve. I don’t want to lose you again. Stay with me.”

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m staying.” He swiped the pad of his thumb across your bottom lip, staring into your eyes. “You were right though,” He took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around your shoulders to keep you against his bare chest. “It’s better if we don’t live together. For now.” He added with a chuckle.

You nodded, smiling back at him before you planted a quick kiss on his lips.

“Now, since we’re both awake we have some catching up to do.” He scooped you up into his arms and carried you to your bedroom.


	10. Gezelligheid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four months later, Steve and Reader are still happy together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gezelligheid (Dutch) is the warmth of being with loved ones.  
> So freaking fluffy
> 
> Also this is the end my lovelies. Thank you so much for reading, you made me want to keep writing and I had so much fun with this one. Love y'all! :)

 

“Okay girls, we only have ten more minutes before she comes home with Steve. Come on, move!” Natasha shouted at the group of girls who ran around the room like headless chickens.

“I don’t think we will make it.” Wanda chewed on her nail. “We need more time!” She panicked before Natasha caught her shoulders.

“Calm down! It will be the best party in history.” Natasha said, looking straight into Wanda’s eyes as if she was trying to hypnotize her.

“But Y/n...”

“She will be here soon, don’t worry.”

And as if on cue you opened the door, or at least tried to since you were holding what could easily be the biggest cake in the world.

“Can somebody help me?” You tried to push the door open with your hip. Wanda ran towards you and took the cake. “You could have warned me, Wands.” You sighed and raised a hand to brush back a strand of hair from your forehead.

“Steve just texted me, he’s walking Peggy home and I still have so much to do.” She screamed.

You took a deep breath, hoping Wanda would calm down soon. Stark’s party was four months ago. You and Steve rekindled your relationship, things were going great. Steve found an apartment near his job thanks to an online ad. He shared it with Scott Lang, a rather cool guy. Natasha was still living with you, but she spent most of her time at Clint’s apartment.

One evening, half-drunk Wanda promised Peggy that she would throw a party for her birthday. Peggy was elated at the idea, but she told Wanda: “ _If I see one scone or one cup of tea, I’ll throw everything out of the window.”_

When Peggy and Steve’s voices echoed through the empty hallway, Wanda gathered everyone in the living room. 

“You think we should yell ‘ _surprise’_?” She whispered as Peggy tried to unlock the door.

“Yeah, let’s do that!” Natasha whispered back in a fake cheerful voice. “I’ve always wanted to give a heart attack to an eighty-year-old.” She rolled her eyes.

Wanda wrinkled her nose up, lips pursed into an aggressive pout. She looked like a puppy trying to scare a lion. Finally Peggy opened the door, her mouth fell open in a shocked ‘o’ before she smiled kindly at the guests. “Oh, Steve! Look at all these people who broke into my flat!” She joked, hugging Wanda.

“I’ll call the police right away.” He played along, closing the door behind him before his lips parted into a big smile when he saw you. “But I think I’ll deal with this thief myself.” He smirked, wrapping his arms around you.

“You can’t stay.” You hit his chest with the flat of your hand as he kissed down the side of your neck. “No boys allowed.” You smirked when he pulled away and frowned at you.

 A knock on the door made you both turn. “It’s the police, ma’am, open up,” said the man behind the door in a commending tone.

“What?” Steve gasped. “Who called the police? What’s going on?” He released you from his embrace. Despite your best efforts to keep him close, he was moving towards the front door.

Wanda stopped him with a loud _NO_.

“Let Peggy answer the door.” She said with a mischievous smirk.

“But it’s the police.” Steve pointed his thumb towards the door.

“Steve, it’s the... _police_.” You said in a suggestive tone, but he didn’t seem to understand.

Peggy chuckled as she opened the door. The policeman deadpanned a few dirty jokes before his façade broke and he laughed outright. _Officer McDreamy_ , as he called himself, entered the apartment. He removed his uniform and stood in the middle of the living room wearing nothing but a thong.

“See, Officer McDreamy is here to protect us. You can go now.” You tried to push Steve out of the flat, but he raised his head to look at the fake officer who was grinding his hips against Peggy. “Bye, Steve!” You tried to close the door in his face.

“I can do this too.” He scoffed with a nod towards the stripper.

Your eyes narrowed, a small smirk tugging at your lips. “Are you offering me a lap dance?”

“If you want a private session it will cost you more, Ma’am.” He leaned against the door frame and deliberately lowered his voice.

“Wait, I’ll go get my friends then.” You pretended to turn around and laughed when Steve quickly took your hand and led you to your flat. “Ah, looks like I found a shy stripper.”

“I’m a possessive stripper, I don’t share.”

When you returned to the party, your hair was messy and your clothes were wrinkled. Steve stayed on your sofa, he agreed that it was a party he didn’t want to attend. You subtly joined the group and clapped as Peggy blew out the remaining candle. Sharon walked past you and eyed you up and down.

“You disappeared for a while.” Natasha leaned sideways to whisper. You pressed your lips together and nodded, not trusting your voice enough to respond. “You put your shirt on inside out.” She smirked.

Your eyes widened before you rushed out of the living room and adjusted your shirt. At the end of the party, Natasha told you that you had the apartment to yourself. She winked as you opened your door.

“Why didn’t you tell me my shirt was inside out?” You asked Steve as soon as you closed the front door. He turned, his arm casually slung over the back of the sofa, and looked at you with an amused grin.

“Honestly, didn’t even notice.” He beckoned you closer. “I was still on cloud nine.”

You sat between his opened legs with your back against his strong chest. You nestled like a bird trying to warm itself and tilted your head up, placing a kiss at his jawline.

“How’s my sexy Officer? Oh sorry, are you a Sergeant?”

“No, I’d be a Captain. Captain Rogers. How does that sound?” He asked with a chuckle while his big hands massaged your shoulders.

“You can’t use your real last name as a stage name.” You tutted and hummed as you tried to think of a proper stage name. “Captain Brooklyn?”

“Not just Brooklyn. I would remove my clothes for the entire nation. I’d be... _Captain United States of America_!” He beamed with a smug, deep voice.

“That’s a mouthful.” You snorted at your own joke. “See what I did? You gotta learn all the innuendos to work in this business.” You poked his jaw repeatedly with your index finger.

“Jesus Christ!” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Wait, I think I found it. _Captain America_!” He held out his arms and looked at you with a suggestive lift of his brows.

“Glad we brainstormed your stripper name, you never know when you might need it.” You laughed.

He wrapped his arms around you and started to tickle you while humming the American national anthem.

“Wait, wait! I had something important to tell you!” You tried to pull away, but he only tickled you more.

“You’re only saying that because you want me to stop.” He grabbed you and pulled you under him, tickling your sides. He settled between your legs and held your wrists over your head with one hand. “C’mon sweetheart, what’s so important? Tell me.”

He smiled when you opened your mouth to speak but the only sound that escaped your throat was a loud laugh. You tried to wriggle away from him, but he was too strong.

“Do you want to live with me?” You managed to say, though it was breathless. Steve stopped tickling you and looked at you in the eye.

“Are you serious?” He gauged your expression.

“I am.” You grinned, trying to pull your hands out of his grip. The news caught him by surprise and he forgot that your wrists were still held captive in his large hand. “Natasha told me that in three months she would be living with Clint. So I’m asking you, do you want to live with me?”

“Wow,” He sat straight up on the sofa, your legs still wrapped around his waist. “You think we’re ready?”

“I do.” You propped yourself up and moved to straddle his lap. “And I can’t wait to live with you again. But if you don’t thin-”

“No, I’m up for it. 100%” He cupped your face. “I love you.”

“And I love you too, Captain America.” You chuckled as he lowered his head and shook it slowly, a wry smile on his lips.

“That nickname is going to stick, isn’t it?” He said before you kissed the smile curving his lips.

“Definitely, so show me what you got.” You had barely finished that sentence before he slipped his hand to the nape of your neck and kissed until you were both gasping for air.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think! ^^


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